... quotes (me) ...

Now this is bad.  This page consists entirely of things that I have said that were then quoted by someone else.  If it makes it into someone's quotesfile or sigfile, I'll try to keep it in here.  I will not, however, quote things I *think* someone should have quoted.  That would be egotistical.



Everything sounds better when you say "bitch" after it.
   -quoted by ?

<Dayv> Mark has hate to spare, his decision to hate someone is like the spare change charity of the extravagantly wealthy.
<raven> mark argent is a generator of hate. he can fuel three counties.
<raven> and one and a half with bitter.
<Dayv> Mark Agent hates me, and all I got was this lousy tshirt.
<Dayv> The Argent rule: snuggle now, hate later.
* Dayv keeps trying to get Mark to quotesfile him some more.
   -quoted by Mark Argent

<Dayv> I was also raised by women.
<Dayv> Soft mother and wire mother, to be specific.
<Dayv> I chose wire mother.
   -quoted by Mark Argent

At one side, you have the "trebuchet."  On the other, the "catapult." The "desktop" is now known as the "siege zone."  Instead of the trashcan for deleted files, there is now the "burial trench."
   -quoted by Mark Argent

Karaoke with a drummer and road flares is industrial.
   -quoted by Mark Argent

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled misspelled insults in all capital letter and bloated, self-referential .sig files...
   -quoted by H.West by way of Balloo

<Dayv> Brett, if you were female, I'd want you to stay away too.
<Brett> but since im male that doesnt apply?
<Dayv> let me rephrase.
<Dayv> Stay the hell away from me.
   -quoted by Brett Banditelli

Nobody wins until someone cries.
   -quoted by Brett Banditelli

It's amazing how silly people are.  I think that I'm going to have them banned.
   -quoted by Michael Belt

I thought I was gonna get married once. But then my heart was torn out of my chest, shredded into a thousand thousand screaming pieces, burned in the fires of hell, and forced back into my chest through my anus.
   -quoted by Michael Belt

Just so everyone here knows, I just posted to rmi about children fucking pigs.
   -quoted by Dr. Trevorkian

You wouldn't know objective criticism if it hit you in the face with a brick and pissed in your open wounds.
   -quoted by Exii

Your father is sucking your penis. Do you warn him before you ejaculate?
   -quoted by Andrew Farrington

Your excuse has been logged and rated a 7 on the excuse-worthiness scale. For reference purposes, "I forgot" is a 1 and "I'm dead" is a 10.
   -quoted by Vijay Gill

Have I mentioned how much I dislike spamcops? I mean, if you do it as a job, fine. But if you get excited about fighting spam, if you really think your efforts are making the world a better place, fucking stick a garden weasel in your ass.
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

Dear Restauranteurs: Do not advertize a loud atmosphere. This is irritating enough when it is unintentional. I don't want anything loud unless it is my music or my sex life. Thanks, Dayv.
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

Saying "Rush is bad" is like saying "Putting your balls in a paper shredder stings a bit."
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

I am mildly precognitive. This mainly results in me wiping my ass before I shit.
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

Hey, I've sucked dick, but never had it in my ass. Life is full of choices.
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

<iscariot> http://www.wtcmemorialquilt.com/
<Dayv> No more memorial quilts!!!
Dayv> How about a nice memorial afghan or something?
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

When I gave blood, they kept asking "have you ever had anal sex with a black man from northern Africa" and other, similarly specific questions.  I was like, "I already told you I'm a virgin, can we just skip this whole page?"
   -quoted by Judith Grunberger

I've been hearing good things about the new FLA.  Apparently, it's the best thing they've released since their last uninspired piece of drek.
   -quoted by Steph Hausler

Henry says "Select level of bitterness: None Mild Moderate Viscious Sadistic Deker"
Dayv says "How bitter was Deker when he left?  He was out before I started."
Thorn says "Deker left under exceedingly bad circumstances."
Dayv says "Ooh, do tell."
Dayv says "I know him, but don't know the story."
Henry says "I can bust on him.  I lived with him. =)"
Thorn says "Bad enough that by the time Security had escorted him out, Sentner had already run the worm to erase all his access to the machines."
Dayv says "Please let me see!  I love bile!  Not the band, the feeling."
   -quoted by Steph Hausler

That's nothing.  Now let a real man show you what a desperate cry for help in a brutal and uncaring world *really* sounds like.
   -quoted by Paul Jacobus

It's amazing what you'll scan when you're bored and alone.
   -quoted by Paul Jacobus

Eric, you wouldn't know bad taste if it came up behind you and licked your asshole with your mother's severed tongue.
   -quoted by Paul Jacobus

Words that should not be used together (revised):
1. nasal sex
2. urethral fisting
3. projectile menstruation
   -quoted by Paul Jacobus

I'm not going to say anything about Y2K bugs.  I suspect that their effects in North America will resemble the normal operation of most Microsoft software.
   -quoted by Faisal Jawdat

If we lived near L.A., all the theatres would have stadium seating.  On the other hand, we'd all be assholes.
   -quoted by Faisal Jawdat

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.  The other half is mostly treachery and groin kicks.
   -quoted by Faisal Jawdat

If you don't stop saying "futurepop," I'm going to drown you in your own filth.
   -quoted by JT

<af3m> Dayv: you are a nice guy
<Dayv> af3m: that would explain the lack of booty.
   -quoted by Chris Morgan

There have been straight hankie codes, but they mainly were used to determine whether or not someone was available.  Leave it to the gays to create a language of color and placement out of it.
   -quoted by Chris Morgan

We've had the dual battery of chivalry and equality blasted at us for so long that when we get attracted to someone we basically run around like chickens with their heads cut off, stumblingly ask a girl to "hang out," hope she knows we don't just mean "hang out," and then get pissed when they hook up with someone less qualified than us.
   -quoted by Chris Morgan

I figured you were born with a blunt in one hand and a telnet session in the other.
   -quoted by Chris Morgan

I tried to learn to skateboard, but I discovered that I could save time by just hurling my body directly at the ground.
   -quoted by Chris Morgan

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
You'd have to be dead,
for me to fuck you.
(bitch)
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Bitch, I killfiled you months ago!
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Gosh, I hope the nice officer didn't think I was serious about being LONG PENIS GIRL KILLER!!!  I know policemen often don't "get" sarcasm from painful personal experience...
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Luuk here-a yuoo stoopeed Svedeesh besterd.  I'm tured ooff yuoor Scundeenefiun veys und yuoor cunstunt pusteeng ooff useless gerbege-a ell oofer usenet.  Iff yuoo cun't et leest sey it in Ingleesh, vhy buzeer seyeeng it et ell, beetch?  Bork Bork Bork!
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

My mirror is all scratched up from the razor blade.  Oh wait, I didn't just type that did I?
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Yeah, I remember when my prince albert got torn out in a bar fight.  That was the best night of my life.  Now my dick has a wide head like a flatworm.  Your mom says it feels great.
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

You think that's sig file worthy?  Please.
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

I'm still disheartened that I didn't get a t-shirt that says "Give me a handjob, I'm a fill-in/guest DJ."
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

I'm so industrial, I can 'read' a CD just by holding it up to a light and examining the tiny holes in the metal.  I have no need for your silly "sound system."
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

To do list v2.0
1. Do laundry.
2. Go grocery shopping.
3. Go to Toronto, mug DJ Todd, raid bank account.
4. Call Mom.
5. Go to Dallas, beat the shit out of Per.
6. Call the bank about a loan.
7. Bitch.
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Jason Prime: "F.Y.I., during his tour with Gwar, Per was the guy responsible for filling the 'fake' penises."
Dayv: "No wonder he looks so tired in those pictures."
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

Per is a bitch.
   -quoted by Per Nilsson

That's the problem with the army of one commercials.  I mean, I watch it and think, "well, I don't need to join til somebody shoots that guy."
   -quoted by Chris O'Brien

Finally, I can pay a small monthly fee to receive automated death threats!
   -quoted by Chris O'Brien

Nothing like a bloody explosion of cock to ruin a sex romp.
   -quoted by Chris O'Brien

Lunch is the sixth most important meal of the day.
   -quoted by Phat Mike

<catlike> THEY TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.
   -quoted by Jen Woodfield

Marriage is a smooth, straight path, filled with fluffy bunnies.  The path is caressed by sunbeams and cooled by softly scented breezes.  A stream of life-giving water burbles softly to the side, and orbital lasers randomly blast people to cinders for no apparent reason.
   -quoted by Jen Woodfield




How Dayv arranges his CD collection
-----------------------------------

CD's are arranged alphabetically by artist. 

Within each artist, releases are chronological. 

Singles are in chronological order after the album they are from, unless 
        they are not an an album, in whgich case they default to album
        order.

After artists, we have collaborations, arranged alphabetically by the 
        earliest letter artist, then compilations, and soundtracks.

An anthology of an artist goes at the end of that artist's section, unless
        it is from a specific chronological period.

For compilations, if it's a live comp of their entire career or a good 
        chunk thereof, at the end. If it's compiled from one or two tours,
        chronological after the album they were touring on.



   -quoted by Paul Jacobus













All quotes are © me, etc.