Producing napalm is a relatively simple activity... not to mention fun for the whole family.

Napalm is essentially jellied gasoline... however, gasoline by itself burns far too quickly to effectively incinerate one's evil roommates, loser ex-boyfriends, pesky neighbors, and all the Randy Katz's of the world. Thus, it needs to be mixed with other materials that will increase the viscosity and slow down that process.


Here are some fun little recipes for napalm:

• 2 parts gasoline
  
• 1 part motor oil
  
• 1 part liquid soap (Joy, Palmolive, etc.)
  

Mix these things together, and that's about it. The oil helps it stick, along with the soap.


Or, here's another one of my favorites...

• 1 cup gasoline
  
• 8 styrofoam packing peanuts
  

Drop the peanuts into the gasoline and allow them to dissolve. This makes a nice, thick, viscous napalm, that will happily stick to your victim as it burns. You may alter the ratio as you see fit.

That's all there is to making it. Choosing the right delivery mechanism is somewhat more involved, but I'm not going to go into that right now because I'm way too lazy.


Passing the time, giggling with glee as they writhe in pain... life just doesn't get much better than that.